*About Me - Testimony*

A friend asked me to post a little bit about my testimony.  Let me first say that I so much appreciate the people that stop by and walk a little on this crazy road with me. I'm constantly amazed that anyone would be interested in what I have to say, and I'm grateful that God would use anything He's teaching me to help someone else.  In the interest of honest transparency, I wanted to share a little bit about myself.  Reading through the postings from these last four months, I've shared quite a bit, but it's getting to the point where "catching up" isn't terribly realistic.  So here's the long and short of it. :)

As of April, 2010, I'm a 29 year old woman, living in Nebraska. I've been married to my husband, Kurt, for 10 years, and we have three beautiful kids.  Alexander is 9, Isaac is 7, and Annabelle is 4 years old. I feel like I'm growing up with my kids. Every day is a new revelation when it comes to being a mommy. It's the single most difficult and rewarding role I've ever played.

Throughout my early childhood and teens, I suffered a great deal of physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual abuse at the hands of some people very close to me. As a result, I struggled immensely with Major Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, and a host of other complications. In order to cope, I became addicted to self-injury, prescription medication, and anorexia.  I first sought treatment for these things at the age of 17, but after the birth of my daughter in November of 2005, things really spiraled out of control.  I found myself in many, many hospitals and treatment centers facing death more times than I care to admit.

Thankfully, my mother lead me to the Lord when I was five years old. And even though I suffered immense trauma throughout the years, I had a handle on faith that I never fully let go of.  God led me to a program through Mercy Ministries, and I was able to encounter Him in a whole new way.  He radically transformed my life and is teaching me to walk with Him out of the chains that used to control me.  Even though I received "eternal salvation" in 1986, I received a new LIFE just this past year.

I'm in a place now, standing on the other side of what felt like a never ending night, in absolute awe of who God is and how He sees us. My faith is not a trite belief based on something someone else shoved down my throat. I have wrestled through every kind of spiritual battle, and I can say with full confidence that Jesus Christ is the name above all names. And as a result of what I've seen in Him and what He's revealed to me, I am forever His.

My life now is that of a disciple of the living Christ. I'm just a regular woman with a regular family, struggling with the same every day stuff that comes against every one of us.  I'm learning what it means to live Heaven here on Earth. My past is still my past, but I am learning to walk in victory through it. I'm about as real as it gets, because I'm tired of playing games.  :) I don't pull a whole lot of punches when it comes to the things I'm passionate about, but I love a great discussion.
I love to read, to write, to watch movies and play games, to have deep conversations, to go overboard on sarcasm and be inappropriately immature at times, to laugh, to be outdoors, to sing and make music, to paint, and to be in quiet solitude.  And I'm out of my mind excited to be alive.

Ok. That's me. :)
Thanks for asking.

**I've often wondered, "How can a good God allow terrible things to happen to innocent people - especially children?" I know it's not an uncommon question, and while I don't claim to understand, I feel like God's shown me a little bit of His heart toward suffering. Check out my post, Asking Tough Questions and let me know what your insights have been!**