Monday, April 19, 2010

call it what it is

God created me a passionate, feral, strong-willed girl. He planted dreams and desires on the inside of me that withstood hurricane storms. I can almost feel the roots of destiny wrap themselves around my heart. At times, there is a palpable tension in my chest like a little fire inside. I experience things intensely, deeply, intuitively.  My daughter is a tiny "me". She looks like her aunt Abby, but her personality is very similar to mine. Isaac, my second son, carries some of my more "high maintenance" traits. It's both good and bad in that I relate well to him, but we drive each other crazy. (Alex is almost 100% Kurt. lol)

Psychologists have debated "Nature vs. Nurture" for... ever. I'm no expert, but I've spent a lot of time on the receiving end of this argument, and I know that it is constantly evolving.  The unique combination of genetics and environment does create an almost infinite number of ways a personality could manifest. That's part of the reason that we're so unique as individuals. What I get to see play out in my kiddos is the genetic aspect. Their environment is drastically different than mine was growing up. But what I find so incredibly interesting is the simple "God vs. Satan" argument.

One of my token verses is found in Isaiah 49.  "God put me to work from the day I was born. The moment I entered the world he named me.  He gave me speech that would cut and penetrate. He kept his hand on me to protect me. He made me his straight arrow and hid me in his quiver." Later, Isaiah writes, "And now the Lord says - he who formed in the womb to be his servant..."  

The Bible is a book of destiny - of God's heart for mankind, His desire for relationship, what He did to draw us close to Him, and what we need to do in response.  It's also a book that speaks of a war that has been raging since before there was a concept called "time".  And when mankind entered the scene, Lucifer took us by the neck and held us for ransom. (rude.)

It plays out on a macro level, and it plays out in our individual lives. God has a purpose, a plan, and even  a name in mind for all of us before we are born. It exists in the spiritual realm where time is no factor. And what God can see in us in that realm, I believe Satan can also see.  He comes against us from birth to try to interrupt God's destiny. Look at the life of Jesus Christ, even.  Born in a cave-barn,  King Herod wanted him dead so badly that he murdered every baby boy two years old or younger in the region. That's intense!  But, God...

See, I don't think it's what Satan throws against us that trips us up so badly as what we believe about ourselves as a consequence. It wasn't the physical effects of the abuse that affected me 20 years later, it was the beliefs that it was my fault, that I was worthless and damaged, that I deserved nothing better. It was my distorted views on love, acceptance, control, and the character of God Himself that nearly took my life. My journey through healing has been a journey back to my destiny. It's been a path of overcoming the works of the enemy in my life and learning to see myself the way that God has always seen me.

Sometimes, seeing the battle for what it is - fighting to kick Satan in the teeth for trying to manipulate me - makes it easier. And if not easier, then more hopeful! We can't change "Nature", and we can't change how we were "Nurtured" (or lack thereof in some cases), but in Christ, we have definite authority over the work of Satan. Learning how to walk in authority is one of the great adventures in life.


Lindsey said...

Awesome post Emily. Thank you for sharing. Spiritual warfare is so real and scary, and you are so right. Satan doesn't blatantly attack us all of the time. That would be to easy to notice. It's the small, sneaky serpant voice convincing us of things that are not of God that can seperate us from God's grace and connection.

emily said...

Lindsey, you are an awesome example of one learning to walk in your God-given authority. :) I can't remember who said it, but I once heard it said that "when we all get to heaven and really see Satan for who he is, all we will see is a mouse with a megaphone". LOL

We don't have a yin-yang "equal and opposite" God. We have The Creator verses the created, and we get to know how the story ends. :)

Love you, girl. Keep standing firm.