the enemy's plan b

A while back, I posted a blog about how the enemy comes after our destiny. Here's the linkback, "call it what it is", because this is part two.

I was talking to a dear friend the other day, and over the course of a couple of conversations, we got to talking about the validity of a person's testimony. A testimony, by definition is an account of a person's own experience. The validity of one's testimony depends on whether the person is truthful in relaying their story.

But what about when someone has an honest, radical encounter with God in which He performs a miracle in their personal life, but then, over the course of time, some of the things that He changed begin to revert back to their former state. Or, more accurately, they look as though they're reverting to their former state. Is that person's testimony still "valid"?

Imagine someone has been in a wheelchair for years, and one day, God chooses to miraculously heal him. He stands upright and walks as though there has never been a pain in his body. Over time, however, some of the pain returns, and he is sometimes forced to use crutches or his wheelchair, especially when he's tired or has been on his feet all day. Is his testimony of God's miraculous healing invalid?

My answer is definitively no. 

When God moves, He moves! When heaven intersects Earth and we have the privilege to bear witness to that account, whether in our lives or someone else's, it is miraculous, and we testify to that experience. God has revealed Himself awesomely, and we get to tell others what we've learned about God from that revelation. 

I've found, when Satan cannot destroy your destiny, he goes after your testimony. There is so much power in our testimony, and our enemy knows it. It has been taught, and I think rightly so, that speaking our testimony is like speaking prophecy. 

Revelation 19:10b says, "For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy." 

I don't pretend to understand the full context and ramifications of this verse, but I do know that when I hear the testimony of a true God-encounter, my faith is strengthened. I know that when someone says, "this is what God did for me", I think, "God could do that for me too". So in that sense, the person's testimony speaks the prophecy of what God could do in my life.

At first, Satan goes after our destiny. He tries to thwart God's plans for us even before we are born. But God is so much greater than he who is in the world. The power of God comes through to help us overcome the plans of the enemy, and out of the abundance of our hearts, we bear witness to His story in our lives. We tell of His greatness. We testify. And Satan hates the power in a testimony.

So, when plan A fails, Satan goes after our testimony. He tries to shut us up.

He will attack places in our lives where he has lost his hold - whether in finances, health, the breaking off of strongholds, in gifts, wherever he can. And he will attempt to convince us that our testimony is no longer "valid".  We stop speaking about what God has done, because, in our eyes, the story is ruined in one way or another. 

That is Satan's lie. What God did, HE DID. What happens next bears no impact on our story.
What happens next is up to God and up to us. Don't let the enemy try to steal your testimony. Don't let him trap you in old habits. Don't let him convince you that a setback is a relapse. Don't let him convince you that people won't care - that they won't want to hear your story - that it's not convincing enough or powerful enough or "good" enough.

Speak out the testimony of what our great God has done. There is power in our testimony. 

musings

So many times I wonder what it must be like to work in a pharmacy. To see people pass by all day long with conditions no one would probably ever recognize, yet I, the pharmacist know the prescriptions behind the labels. I, the pharmacist, know something about these people that they probably keep hidden from millions around them. The writer in me creates character sketches everywhere that I go. It's a habit.  I see a person, and before I realize it, I'm formulating some sort of story about who they are, where they've come from, and where they're going. It's mostly objective. 99% of the time, there is no judgment attached to these observations, just an assembly of facts and a few conclusions based on evidence.

I like to watch what people buy. I'll look at the conveyor belt for the person in front of me and notice diapers, frozen dinners, kitty litter, a sketch pad, and a pack of gum.  Then, I notice the youngish looking woman with no ring on her left hand and an infant on her hip. My mind postulates a scenario about her life. I'm not judging her, just... observing.
Sometimes, when I catch myself doing this, I start to look at myself from the outside in the same manner.

I see a woman with eyeliner pushed up under her eyes, pony tail, t-shirt, and jeans. She's got a pre-school-aged daughter on one hip. The little girl's hair is combed, but one of her to pig tails is falling out. She's got a young boy with her as well. He looks like he just got out of bed. There's a halo of fuzz on the back of his head, and he's wearing an oversized "Hickory Hill" t-shirt, sweatpants, and untied shoes. The little girl is reaching down toward the floor, and the mother is struggling to hold her on her hip while digging through her oversized purse looking for her prescription orders. She haphazardly sets the four-year-old down while looking up apologetically at the pharmacist. The four-year-old darts into a hidden aisle with her brother while the mom heaves a sigh, blows the bangs out of her eyes, and begins to unload the oversized purse onto the counter.
Finally, the woman produces the prize. One prescription for "Strattera", a well-known ADHD medication bearing the name of her seven year old son, one prescription for an anti-depressant with her name on it, and a refill order for an anti-anxiety medication, also for the woman. She slides them across the counter to the overly patient pharmacist and absently shovels the mess back into her purse while calling out the name of her two children. The younger comes sliding out of one of the aisles on her belly.
    
     "Date of Birth?" the pharmacist asks.
     "Mine?" the woman answers, bewildered.  Turning to her daughter, she asks the whereabouts of her son.  Her daughter shrugs and runs back into another aisle.
     "Yes," the pharmacist affirms.
     "Oh," the woman responds, and gives the appropriate answer with her face turned to the side of the window.
      "ZAC!" the woman calls.
    
     "What time do you want these picked up?"
     "I don't care", the woman answers with a half-smile. She manages to snag the four year old by the arm as she runs by and heaves her onto her hip. The daughter protests loudly.
      "I'll put it in for 2:45," the pharmacist decides aloud.
      "Great. Thanks," the woman answers and then disappears in search of her son.

The pharmacist looks over the prescriptions again. ADHD medicine, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety. Makes sense.

Hahahaha

How is she supposed to know that Jesus is living and reigning strong in my life? :) I know that I WAY over-think things like this. The pharmacist probably just does her job with very little regard for the details. But as I was leaving the store, I thought, "How is anyone to know that I'm living the life of a victorious Christian?"

God spoke to my heart, then. 
The truth of the matter is that the Spirit of Christ spills out of me in a way that is supernatural. It's nothing I DO, it's a byproduct of Him in me. Regardless the circumstances.

The other truth is that I am living my life for an audience of ONE. And while it may seem that "all the world's a stage", ultimately, it is the Lord who looks upon the heart of man.  He sees a woman after His own heart, who loves Him dearly and is living out each day to the best of her ability to honor Him and serve the Kingdom.

2 Corinthians 4:6-12,  and 16-18 (The Message)

"It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.  If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness.  We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives.  That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us.  
As it is, there's not much chance of that.  You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at.  We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know what God wants to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken...

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace... There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow.  But the things we can't see now will last forever."
(emphasis mine)

Wow, God. I come as I am and ask you to use me in my humanity to change the world for you.
I'm willing. Send me.  Thanks for Grace. It's all I have, and all I'll ever need.



I got this in the mail today anonymously. So if you sent it, Thank You. It really blessed me. :)

"My Precious Child,
My all-seeing lamp searches out your very spirit and your inmost being.  I know the real you that you sometimes try to hide.
I perceive your thoughts and even know what you are going to say before you say it.
If only you realized how precious you are to me! I'm continuously thinking good thoughts of you --
thoughts that outnumber all the grains of sand in the entire world.
Thinking fondly of you,
You Creator"
-Proverbs 20:27, Psalm 139


(Author Unknown to me)

wow

I cannot believe it is the 15th of March! We've just gotten back from an amazing family vacation to Florida, and I am exhausted! Kurt's grandparents live in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, and we've been meaning to take the kids down there to see them. These last couple of years have been less than ideal for taking on a venture of this magnitude, but they have taught us some things.  Time is not a thing to be taken for granted. I think intense suffering of any kind brings about a shift in perspective. Things that seemed important lose their value and memories, moments, and relationships become paramount.  There are a lot of things we could have spent money on this spring... but taking time to reconnect as a family, enjoy one another (for the most part), and capitalize on this very unique snapshot of time in the lives of each one of us was so very important.  And I'm out of my mind grateful. I'm sure as soon as the haze lifts off my mind, I'll only become even more so. hehe

I was working on my 365 Project, and it was interesting to me what points on our vacation stood out. We got to do some amazing things including Disney World, the beach, warm weather after a ridiculously frigid winter... but we also got to see friends and family, and I got to peek into the hearts of each one of my little ones. As a mommy, it's utterly priceless to see my kids unguarded and unhindered and free to be completely themselves. There's something very raw about a family vacation. Everyone's true colors rise to the top after 30 hours in the car and 10 days in mixed company.

For my part, God has done a miracle in me. There is no way I could have ever handled a trip like this in my past. And yes, I got cranky and tired and irritable at times. My blood sugar dropped, the sleep depravation caught up with me, and the weariness of living under someone else's roof began to weigh me down. But overall, there was so much grace for each and every moment. There was always a long night and a new morning. I had no trouble sleeping at all, which 1.) for me is amazing, and 2.) for being out of town in a MIRACLE. We hit the Disney crowd with three kids in tow, and I had no anxiety whatsoever. None.  (I don't typically do crowds... understatement of the century)
Someone told me a couple of weeks ago that it sometimes takes a trial to show the change that God has made. And while I wouldn't necessarily categorize a family vacation as a "trial", I do know that it could have been a catastrophe! God deserves so much credit for the work He has done in my life. We not only survived, but we had a wonderful time.

And I'm super glad to be home. :)

Isaiah 43:19
"See, I am doing a new thing!
  Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?
  I am making a way in the desert  
  and streams in the wasteland."

the day after the day after that

I wanted to post one more blog before I leave town. There's a good chance we'll have internet at Kurt's grandparents' house, but I'm not positive. Hopefully I'll get to write... I've been missing it so much.

Mentioned in my last post that I've been sick. Really sick - in bed wiped out bacterial infection - sick. It wasn't until today, four days into antibiotics and finally feeling more myself, that I realized how unwell I've truly been.  It's hard to have perspective in the moment, but it's like that hum you don't notice until it stops. The sudden "silence" and ability to think in contrast to how I've been the last almost month is startling!
Anyway, I digress.

I sort of feel like I've been spit out by a whale. There's a verse that talks about God's mercies being new every morning. A fresh start, a clean slate every day. I wasn't sure of the reference, so I went to my "The Strongest NIV Exhaustive Concordance" by Goodrick and Kohlenberger III (sounds impressive, huh? LOL)  and there is a full three columned page on "morning, morning's and mornings".  In the Bible there is so much reference to dawn and morning and birth and re-birth. God is a HUGE fan of "new".

I drop back in awe.

It's difficult to verbalize the amazing, cleansing freedom of a life in Christ. I never knew. I think everyone knows the agony of regret. Big or small... life-changing or just a wrong turn in the middle of a day, there is a tearing inside that is almost unmatched in human suffering when it comes to regret.
I've talked to several God-given guides in my life about this lately, but it is becoming more and more apparent to me that I have lived under a constant umbrella of guilt and regret. That hum. It's exhausting and life-stealing. And though God's walked me through a TON of the "why" and "what" of it, there is work yet to be done in that area.  It's a dark, evil place - regret. Because there is NOTHING I can do about something already said and done. I make amends, take responsibility, and ask forgiveness, but then what?

Joyce Meyer says this, "God will tell you what you are about to do wrong so you can change your mind before you make a mistake. Satan waits until it's too late, when you can no longer do anything about it, and then tries to bring regret and ultimate condemnation upon you." (Enjoying Where You Are on the Way to Where You Are Going)
Yep.

God's economy can be summed up in one word: "Morning"
Daybreak. It's almost like taking a really deep breath of cool, clean air. A sigh of relief followed by a rush of joy and gratitude that brings me to tears. Oh, God, you are so good.

Lamentations 3:19-24
"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.  I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.  Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'" (emphasis mine)

How amazing that every 24 (ish) hours we get a sun-up reminder of God's unrelenting, merciful love?
There's no regret in God's economy. Consequences, sometimes, but NEVER regret. Just love... love love love love love.
It's a life-saving truth. Holy Spirit, burn this on the inside of me. Let me never forget how good God is.
Selah.

He hears!

I think sometimes I don't pray because I'm not sure what to say. Things get so jumbled up in my mind, my emotions are all over the place, and the words will not come out. I'm more comfortable curling up in a ball and trying to "sleep it off" than calling out to God. But it is SO profound to me how much God hears!

Genesis records the murder of Abel by his brother, Cain. In essence, Cain was jealous of Abel's relationship with God, and he let it fester into a murderous rage. He lured Abel into a field and killed him. Genesis 4:10 records God's response: "The Lord said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground."
That's intense.
There are many, many references to God's alertness to our condition.  Exodus 3:7 says "God said, "I've taken a good, long look at the affliction of my people in Egypt. I've heard their cries for deliverance from their slave masters; I know all about their pain."  Then He sent Moses to "let His people go..."

One of my personal favorites is in Romans 8:12: "God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along.  If we don't know what or how to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans." (The Message)

My heart goes out to the Haitian people. They might not know what to pray or whom to pray to, but there is so much Biblical evidence to prove that God hears them. The blood of the innocent cries from the ground. And I know His heart. In a time where there are SO many questions about the character of God in the face of this tragedy, I know that His heart breaks. He sees their pain, hears their cries, and intervenes in many ways that aren't immediately evident to us.

And as for us, this subject is so close to my heart. Because, when I don't know how to pray - I've been in situations where all I could do is moan - I know that God's heart is postured toward me. I am significant to Him. You are significant to Him. You don't have to be a priest or Bible scholar to be heard by God. He sees you, and He promises that you'll never be alone.
Selah

tsk tsk

Shame is an incredibly powerful human emotion - one that I have struggled with most of my life.  The reason that shame is so devastating, is because it the number one hinderance in relationships. Shame keeps us alone and isolated, unable to reach out in our perceived inferiority, and unable to even ponder God as we cower in His holiness. Taken to its logical extreme, shame is a killer. People say, "I just died." And it's not far from true. Shame is what drove me to try to take my own life several times.

dictionary.com defines it:

shame

 [sheym]  noun, verb, shamed,sham⋅ing.–noun

1.

the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.

2.

susceptibility to this feeling: to be without shame.

3.

disgrace; ignominy: His actions brought shame upon his parents.

4.

a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: The bankruptcy of the business was a shame. It was a shame you couldn't come with us.

I was struck this morning while reading in Genesis (doing a little OT catch up), by the count of Adam and Eve's eyes being opened in the garden.

The first human emotion they experienced after sin entered the world was shame.  Genesis 3:7 "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized that they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves."   So many times, when I would find myself ashamed, I would try to cover it up. Backpedal, make excuses, hide, even run - physically run. In extreme cases, I buried the shame so deep inside of me that it became a festering wound, causing me to live injured year after year. 

What was God's response to their shame? He covered them properly and "made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." (Gen. 3:21) 

To cover the first sin and the first shame, God saw that Adam's feeble attempt to cover himself would be entirely inadequate. So He shed blood and covered Adam and his wife with the skin of an animal.  And to cover our shame - we, being no less naked from a spiritual perspective - we were covered by God through the shed blood of His Son.         

Christ bore our shame, and the Bible says that He despised it.  Hebrews 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (emphasis mine)   And in that act, God was able to cover us.  Isaiah 61:10 "For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness"  It's an awesome parallel. We are covered in garments by God. 

And as far as our shame, as disciples this side of the cross? Psalm 25:3 "No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame"  It's restated in Romans 10:11  

Conviction? Yes.  Humility and Repentance? Yes. Shame? Never.

Thank you, God, that we do not have to scramble about trying to cover ourselves for the shame of things done to us or decisions that we have made. Receive the covering that God has given you through the shed blood of Christ on the cross. 

We do not have to carry shame. And that is so liberating.

Has Satan ever tried to trap you in the lie of shame? What have been some of the results of shame in your life?

New Wineskins

We spent the Thursday and Friday at the local Holiday Inn and CoCo Keys, and our WiFi connection was sketch at best. Since I have a tendency to be loquacious, I was having a hard time getting a full blog post together before I lost service. Tragic.  Maybe I should concentrate on being more concise. :) hehe

We had a wonderful time - especially for what we paid. I'm finding that, for me, I have to break "old programs". I got the opportunity to really get away from everything and spend a good amount of time thinking, praying, writing, reading, absorbing, talking, and learning. And in that, I was completely transformed. Omaha, however, remained stoically the same. Some mornings, when I wake up and see the same wall that I stared at for two years of barely being able to get out of bed, I lose myself in what was. In my sleepy stupor, I forget that I've been remade. I came back a square peg to a round hole, but the atmosphere threatens to round out my edges.

So I've been working on really pressing in to God and trusting Him to walk me through this transition. I'm holding on to His promises, to His Word, and to His unfailing love for me. Sometimes, it means changing up the program. Rearranging my bedroom, creating a different atmosphere with music or the strategic placement of a comfy chair. Sometimes it means getting out of the house entirely after 3 weeks of being snowed in and spending a little money on a hotel room and an indoor water park.
That way, I'm making new memories to override the old ones. Following God down new paths that haven't quite gotten worn in yet.
For now, the decisions are so deliberate. My default is the well worn groove of old habits. Hopefully, though, sooner than later, the decisions will come more naturally, and my default will be positive, proactive, and life-giving. Time will tell. But God is faithful. I know He didn't walk with me through seven months of living in St. Louis just to drop me off at the corner in Omaha.  The great thing about giving all I have to an omnipresent God, is that He is able to follow through on His promise to never leave me, never forsake me.

"You make all things new, you yes you make all things new. And I will follow You forward." - Israel Houghton  (Power of One)

Stinky Mango

Matthew 12:15 - 14:12

It's so funny that we read this portion today, because yesterday on Facebook, I commented on a friend's question.

Kacy Aycock Do people act the way they do because of the events surrounding them or are their reactions the result of the kind of people they are?

Yesterday at 3:46pm · Comment · 

Rnesha Baldwin

ooooooohhh DEEP!! good question!

Yesterday at 3:54pm

Sarah Cook

let me know when you figure it out :)

Yesterday at 4:45pm

Angie Karriker Sparks

80% of the time it's just the kind of people they are, but about 20% of the time I would say it's because of the events sorrounding them, such as stress :)

Yesterday at 4:46pm

Emily Wagoner

Out of the abundace of the heart, the mouth speaks. I think our truest nature is revealed by the external pressure sqeezing out who we are. :)

Yesterday at 4:54pm · 

Candace J. Davis

I think it's both. Some people got some stuff in their lives that they are trying to figure out. Some strongholds, as you know, can completely mask who a person really is. I'm sure when I first come into your life, you had second, third, etc. thoughts about who I really was. When I started to calm down, you saw that I was really someone else who ...See More

Yesterday at 5:50pm

Joy Laschober

It's the result of how they react to the events that happen to them. Attitude is the factor that determines how your life will turn out. People with terrible circumstances and a great attitude have a better life than those with great situations and a bad attitude!!!

2 hours ago

I was just answering off the cuff, and I don't know that there is one "right" answer, because I don't know that it's a legitimate question. I mean, define "the kind of people" a person is.

But what I haphazardly quoted showed up in Matthew 12:33-35   "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.  You brood of vipers (speaking to the religious hypocrites),  how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him."

I know, in reading this in the past, the words "good" and "evil" really put me off. To me, it sounded condemning and judgmental; as if I had two options - to be "good", or to be "evil".  Does that mean that if I blow up at my husband over something stupid, that there is "evil" in my heart? EVIL? Like the FRU-ITS of the DEVIL? EVIL? :)
So here's how The Message Bible puts it:

"If you grow a healthy tree, you'll pick healthy fruit.  If you grow a diseased tree, you'll pick worm-eaten fruit.  The fruit tells you about the tree."

I like the words "healthy" and "diseased" better. In talking to the dark, religious hypocrites who only had it in mind to trap Jesus, He was definitely talking to people who had chosen to war against God and His Christ. But I think this also applies to those of us who have chosen to live the life of a disciple, but still are "dis-eased" in our souls.
I had a transformed Spirit when I asked God to re-make me. But my soul was desperately ill.  It was poisoned for years by abusive people in my life, and I ate the fruit of that poisoned root my entire life. There were toxins in me  - unforgiveness, bitterness, self-hatred, suicidality, depression, shame, shame, shame.  The fruits were an eating disorder, self-injury, insomnia, ruined relationships, suicide attempts, etc.  I viewed the world through a filter of lies, the produce of my life wreaking.
I was going to heaven for sure, but my heart was sick, so the overflow was self-destructive.

Joyce Meyer has a book called "Beauty for Ashes" that talks a lot about the results of a poisoned "root system", following after the example of the "fruit of the tree".  Neil T. Anderson also has a great book called "Victory Over the Darkness".
The latter describes very well the journey of healing I have been on.  I've babbled on long enough, but let me say that God has been cutting off the unhealthy branches and ripping out the poisoned roots in my life, replacing them with healthy, life-giving nutrients.
I am definitely not perfect, but in learning what it means to release bitterness and anger, in letting Christ cover my shame, and in allowing the Word of God to pour into the desert inside of me, my health is being restored, and the fruits - the natural reactions, words, attitudes, and behaviors that flow out of me - are much, much more tasty.

So that's part of my testimony. LOL
I stand by my answer to Kacy. :)