Slaves of what?

My blogging has severely lapsed over the summer. I started writing in January as a source of accountability and to share what God is doing in my life. It was meant to keep my gaze upward, looking for God in the little things. And it totally worked! The Lord continued to speak to my heart, and in big or little, significant or not, I wrote about them and it helped solidify things inside of me.

Seems, though, that the busier my life gets, the less I write. It's not that God's stopped moving or speaking to me! In fact, as I sit to blog today, I can think of so many topics that I'd love to write about. It's that I'm not taking the time to honor Him by slowing down and publicly recognizing His awesome hand in my life. It has less to do with my writing or its content, and more to do with my heart and priorities. Weird what a little blog can show!

To that end, A word was planted in my mind on Sunday and won't leave. I went with my dear friend to her home church, and the topic in Bible class (I can't remember what their Sunday School is called) was "slavery". As the teacher spoke, several verses flooded my mind, and I thought about all that I've learned in this past year or so about being a slave.

The second part of 2 Peter 2:19 is the phrase that has been resonating with me since Sunday. "...for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him" (NIV). 







When I think of slave, I think of one completely subject to the will of another. That makes my heart lurch. I hate being told what to do. Silly example, but I sometimes resent having to sit through the safety demonstration in an airplane. Flying out to Nashville this past weekend, I was woken up by a flight attendant who told me to turn my iPod off so that we could safely land. WOKEN UP, because apparently my crazy iPod waves are going to interfere with their auto-pilot instruments... It's funny, but the point is, I cringe when I am told what I must and must not do. I think that most people internally buck the system when it seems we have been given an ultimatum. However, none of this comes close to the concept of slavery.

Slavery in Biblical times was a simple matter of fact. It was a part of their cultural dynamic and governing system, so when Jesus and the apostles talked about being a slave, it resonated with the people. Even though slavery in the United States was abolished in 1865, the concept should resonate with us as well.

John 8:34 "Jesus replied, 'I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin'" (NIV emphasis mine).
This is where that famous and most often quoted verse comes in: "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" John 8:36. (I didn't want to just leave it dead ended like that)

But Jesus was making a bold point in verse 34. Sin is a brutal master. I've heard it said that sin will take you further than you ever wanted to go and demand more of you than you ever wanted to give. Addiction is a good example, but not the only example. We are slaves to whatever we give ourselves. In Matthew 6:24, Jesus made the point, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other." He goes on to say, "You cannot serve both God and Money." (NIV)

The point is this: Either I am serving God, or I am serving something else. Either I am a slave to sin or I am a slave to righteousness/holiness. Two huge indicators for me are, what am I giving my heart to? And what am I giving my time to?

What consumes my thoughts? Where does my mind go in the quiet moments?
Does it go to the to-do list, a relationship, or what's on TV? Do I spend most of my time thinking about my looks or my weight or my next meal? Or does my mind go to the things I'm grateful for, the people I'm praying about, the next assignment He has for me?

I have a mind that tends to race (understatement), so sometimes the most obvious indicator is where I spend my time. What am I spending my 24 hours a day on? How much TV am I watching, or on my computer, or Facebook, or video games? What relationships do I give time to? How much am I working or studying? And, more importantly sometimes, What am I "too busy" to do?

Hear me: I'm not talking about a life where every single thing I do has to do with church. Joyce Meyer says that sometimes the most holy thing you can do is take a nap. Jesus is talking about something bigger than Facebook and American Idol and Ben and Jerry's. It's about the posture of my heart. What am I giving myself to? Because we're all a slave to something.

I want to be a slave to the only Master that matters. Jesus set me free from sin so that I could be a slave to righteousness - a slave to the heart of God. In that light, spending all day long washing dishes, cutting the crust off of sandwiches, and wrestling my four-year-old down for a nap is giving myself to the work that God has called me to! (if I do it with the right attitude) Pouring time into quality relationships is living for the Lord. It's not a matter of works. No one can earn God's grace. Also, we cannot do any good without God's power working in and through us.

God is asking me to look at the things I am allowing to control me in life. It's startling and humbling and leads me back to the center, which should be and always will be Christ. Life's chaotic, but Jesus is the master of my chaos, and He brings peace and order and calm. I just need a reminder sometimes.

When I get overwhelmed and confused by clutter and demands, one of my favorite verses always puts things back into perspective for me. It's one of the few verses I actually have memorized.

1 Corinthians 2:2, "For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." (NIV)

musings

So many times I wonder what it must be like to work in a pharmacy. To see people pass by all day long with conditions no one would probably ever recognize, yet I, the pharmacist know the prescriptions behind the labels. I, the pharmacist, know something about these people that they probably keep hidden from millions around them. The writer in me creates character sketches everywhere that I go. It's a habit.  I see a person, and before I realize it, I'm formulating some sort of story about who they are, where they've come from, and where they're going. It's mostly objective. 99% of the time, there is no judgment attached to these observations, just an assembly of facts and a few conclusions based on evidence.

I like to watch what people buy. I'll look at the conveyor belt for the person in front of me and notice diapers, frozen dinners, kitty litter, a sketch pad, and a pack of gum.  Then, I notice the youngish looking woman with no ring on her left hand and an infant on her hip. My mind postulates a scenario about her life. I'm not judging her, just... observing.
Sometimes, when I catch myself doing this, I start to look at myself from the outside in the same manner.

I see a woman with eyeliner pushed up under her eyes, pony tail, t-shirt, and jeans. She's got a pre-school-aged daughter on one hip. The little girl's hair is combed, but one of her to pig tails is falling out. She's got a young boy with her as well. He looks like he just got out of bed. There's a halo of fuzz on the back of his head, and he's wearing an oversized "Hickory Hill" t-shirt, sweatpants, and untied shoes. The little girl is reaching down toward the floor, and the mother is struggling to hold her on her hip while digging through her oversized purse looking for her prescription orders. She haphazardly sets the four-year-old down while looking up apologetically at the pharmacist. The four-year-old darts into a hidden aisle with her brother while the mom heaves a sigh, blows the bangs out of her eyes, and begins to unload the oversized purse onto the counter.
Finally, the woman produces the prize. One prescription for "Strattera", a well-known ADHD medication bearing the name of her seven year old son, one prescription for an anti-depressant with her name on it, and a refill order for an anti-anxiety medication, also for the woman. She slides them across the counter to the overly patient pharmacist and absently shovels the mess back into her purse while calling out the name of her two children. The younger comes sliding out of one of the aisles on her belly.
    
     "Date of Birth?" the pharmacist asks.
     "Mine?" the woman answers, bewildered.  Turning to her daughter, she asks the whereabouts of her son.  Her daughter shrugs and runs back into another aisle.
     "Yes," the pharmacist affirms.
     "Oh," the woman responds, and gives the appropriate answer with her face turned to the side of the window.
      "ZAC!" the woman calls.
    
     "What time do you want these picked up?"
     "I don't care", the woman answers with a half-smile. She manages to snag the four year old by the arm as she runs by and heaves her onto her hip. The daughter protests loudly.
      "I'll put it in for 2:45," the pharmacist decides aloud.
      "Great. Thanks," the woman answers and then disappears in search of her son.

The pharmacist looks over the prescriptions again. ADHD medicine, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety. Makes sense.

Hahahaha

How is she supposed to know that Jesus is living and reigning strong in my life? :) I know that I WAY over-think things like this. The pharmacist probably just does her job with very little regard for the details. But as I was leaving the store, I thought, "How is anyone to know that I'm living the life of a victorious Christian?"

God spoke to my heart, then. 
The truth of the matter is that the Spirit of Christ spills out of me in a way that is supernatural. It's nothing I DO, it's a byproduct of Him in me. Regardless the circumstances.

The other truth is that I am living my life for an audience of ONE. And while it may seem that "all the world's a stage", ultimately, it is the Lord who looks upon the heart of man.  He sees a woman after His own heart, who loves Him dearly and is living out each day to the best of her ability to honor Him and serve the Kingdom.

2 Corinthians 4:6-12,  and 16-18 (The Message)

"It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.  If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness.  We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives.  That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us.  
As it is, there's not much chance of that.  You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at.  We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know what God wants to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken...

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace... There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow.  But the things we can't see now will last forever."
(emphasis mine)

Wow, God. I come as I am and ask you to use me in my humanity to change the world for you.
I'm willing. Send me.  Thanks for Grace. It's all I have, and all I'll ever need.



I got this in the mail today anonymously. So if you sent it, Thank You. It really blessed me. :)

"My Precious Child,
My all-seeing lamp searches out your very spirit and your inmost being.  I know the real you that you sometimes try to hide.
I perceive your thoughts and even know what you are going to say before you say it.
If only you realized how precious you are to me! I'm continuously thinking good thoughts of you --
thoughts that outnumber all the grains of sand in the entire world.
Thinking fondly of you,
You Creator"
-Proverbs 20:27, Psalm 139


(Author Unknown to me)

New Wineskins

We spent the Thursday and Friday at the local Holiday Inn and CoCo Keys, and our WiFi connection was sketch at best. Since I have a tendency to be loquacious, I was having a hard time getting a full blog post together before I lost service. Tragic.  Maybe I should concentrate on being more concise. :) hehe

We had a wonderful time - especially for what we paid. I'm finding that, for me, I have to break "old programs". I got the opportunity to really get away from everything and spend a good amount of time thinking, praying, writing, reading, absorbing, talking, and learning. And in that, I was completely transformed. Omaha, however, remained stoically the same. Some mornings, when I wake up and see the same wall that I stared at for two years of barely being able to get out of bed, I lose myself in what was. In my sleepy stupor, I forget that I've been remade. I came back a square peg to a round hole, but the atmosphere threatens to round out my edges.

So I've been working on really pressing in to God and trusting Him to walk me through this transition. I'm holding on to His promises, to His Word, and to His unfailing love for me. Sometimes, it means changing up the program. Rearranging my bedroom, creating a different atmosphere with music or the strategic placement of a comfy chair. Sometimes it means getting out of the house entirely after 3 weeks of being snowed in and spending a little money on a hotel room and an indoor water park.
That way, I'm making new memories to override the old ones. Following God down new paths that haven't quite gotten worn in yet.
For now, the decisions are so deliberate. My default is the well worn groove of old habits. Hopefully, though, sooner than later, the decisions will come more naturally, and my default will be positive, proactive, and life-giving. Time will tell. But God is faithful. I know He didn't walk with me through seven months of living in St. Louis just to drop me off at the corner in Omaha.  The great thing about giving all I have to an omnipresent God, is that He is able to follow through on His promise to never leave me, never forsake me.

"You make all things new, you yes you make all things new. And I will follow You forward." - Israel Houghton  (Power of One)

Storms and Snowdrifts

Matthew 14:13 - 16:28

Can I just pause for a moment on this simple, very profound example of Christ? 'Cuz I need to hear it.

Leading up to today's passages, in Matthew 14:1-12, the story talks about the be-heading of John the Baptist.   John and Jesus Christ were cousins.

Heading over to Luke 1:41, Luke records that "When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit."(Mary was the mother of Jesus, and Elizabeth was the mother of John the Baptist)
John recognized Jesus in utero and was filled with joy.
In Matthew 3:13-17, John finally baptized Jesus after acknowledging Christ's authority and purpose on Earth. Then, in Matthew 11:11, Jesus recognized the great old-covenant power of John's commission. (He also recognized the new, more powerful authority in the new-covenant).

I say all of that to say that John and Jesus were not only cousins, they were friends, and they respected one another greatly. So, when Jesus got news that John had been executed, he was deeply grieved.
This is the great example I mentioned:
Matthew 14:13  "When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.  Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns.  When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick."

1. He got alone. He let himself feel. He took some time out. He grieved. He probably prayed, and cried, asked tough questions, and questioned himself. Why didn't God tell Him to go get John out of jail? Whey didn't God continue to intervene in Harod's attitude? Were more people going to die because of Him? How many?   He was a person, just like me. Same emotions, same vulnerabilities, same enemy.

2. The crowds had zero regard for His loss. When catastrophe strikes, I think what hurts the most is that the world continues to spin as if everything is OK.  When I lost my dad, had a miscarriage, and any other number of life-shaking events, I wanted time to stop so that I could gather myself. But the world kept going. The calendar kept changing dates. Jobs still needed to be done, kids still needed to be cared for, groceries bought... And yes, people definitely stepped in and helped out! But sometimes, people are ready to stop helping long before my heart stops hurting.

3. (And this is what I need constant grace for)  When He saw the crowds, even though they were stalking him to get, get, get from him... He had compassion for them (all 5000) and healed their sick.  He grieved, prayed, and gave himself away some more. Probably no less in pain, but regardless, reached out, got beyond himself, and served.

That, for me, is what separates those who will be used by God, and those who have some more growing up to do. And I am absolutely speaking to myself. When I get overwhelmed... even in little things, like TODAY. And the kids are all stuck indoors at my house for almost a solid 3 weeks now, and we're all ready to kill each other, and the food I bought isn't lasting as long, and I'm hormonal, and I don't have time to read the Word or talk to my friends because every time I get 5 minutes, there's another explosion somewhere.... All I want to do is retreat into my room, pull the covers over my head and quit. Sleep. Revert.
But the example that Christ sets is, I need to go to my room, pray, cry, get settled with God, and get up, don't harden my heart, but have compassion. Serve my family. Get out of myself. And in that obedience there is blessing. Hopefully, the choice to move past pain will become easier the more I practice. :)

Thoughts?